The Beginning
by Insanity-L
Summary: Everyday, Beyond tells the same story. Everyday, it goes nowhere. Everyday he starts from the beginning. Everyday he reflects on everything in his past... Everyday, he relives A's death. Everyday, he relives the moments he loved, idolized, obsessed over, and hated his mentor and enemy. Everyday is the beginning.
1. Abbey

**Hello, This is Insanity-L. Welcome. I am glad you are reading. This, here, is just a little idea that popped into my head... Tell me what you think, tell me if I should continue you it, or if it sucks the life out of this pairing... so tell me what you think... okay?**

**B POV**

_"So, tell me again, Beyond. From the beginning, preferably. _Beyond_, are you listening." No, I wasn't paying attention to that worthless therapist. She has no idea what is going on in my life, she doesn't understand nor does she care that I am _crazy_ and will forever be in this asylum until the day I die. So why, why must I, everyday, go back to the beginning and repeat why I feel this way, why I want to be better than that stupid detective, L. Why I feel so horribly about myself. What had happened to my best friend. Why I feel the need to avenge my friend for her forced suicide. Why I feel so desperate to leave. How I am feeling or how I deal with these feelings._

_Why does this bitch think it's a great idea for me to go back to the beginning and relive the pain I felt and still feel? Why? She doesn't care. Why? She doesn't understand. Heh. No one cares for me... Not even A... A left me here alone when I needed her the most... when I felt so much pain, when I felt alone... she was pushed so hard by that damned detective, pushed so hard she killed herself._

_"Why the beginning, Evangeline Greyson?" I stared her in the eyes. Her slanted blue eyes staring straight back with less confidence than normal. My red stare is rather intimidating... so I've been told at least._

_"Beyond, I've told you to call me Angie." She said with pseudo confidence._

_"I'm sorry, Evangeline Greyson." I couldn't ignore the letters and numbers floating above her head. I couldn't call her something other than her name. Her numbers were getting small. "Evangeline... would you like to know when you will die?" I taunt her, knowing she hates when I ask her that question, I've frightened away so many therapists with my knowledge and eyes but her... she is interesting, she has yet to run._

_"Beyond." She began her warning. "You know I do not put up with that type of behavior. Now, Start from the beginning." She spoke sternly, so I sighed and began..._

_"It all started when I came to the Wammy House..." I began as I fell into a trance, remembering my life... my past... from the beginning._

XXX

I sat in a tree, the big pine tree outside the backdoors. The children filing out slowly. I didn't want to play with them, it was my first day here and Wammy let me out first, so I could get a feel of this place. But the moment he left me outside, I climbed the big pine and hid from the world. Shunning myself before the other children could shun me.

My blonde hair "too long" for me to be a boy, but I liked my hair like this. My mother didn't want me cutting it when I was little, so I never got it cut. Not once... now it was down to my waist. I look like a girl. But I'm definately not. I'm just your average thirteen year old boy... right?

I heard a noise but ignored it, this is until a small girl with short gingery hair jumped in front of my face. "Hi!" She startled me and I jumped back- falling from the tree. "Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!" She shouted nervously as she jumped from the tree. She held out her hand- waiting for me to take it. "I'm so sorry! I just wanted to say hi, I know you're new and no one was going to talk to you!" I stared at the tiny creature hovering over me. I didn't take her hand and pushed myself up. "Oh-kay... I know that you are called B, so I should tell you what to call me, I'm A-" I cut her off, staring at the red letters above her head.

"You are Abigail O'Conner." I finished for her. She gasped, frightened.

"SH! Don't call me that. I am A. Call me A or Alternate. Not that!" She put her hand over my mouth and I bit it. "Ow! Why did you bite me!"

"I will call you what I want. Got it, Abbey-Gayle?" I drawled her name out with a laugh and she angrily hit my chest.

"Stop that now, B!" She shouted at me. I rolled my eyes at this petite little monstrosity in front of me.

"What's with this 'B' business. I am Beyond Birthday." I told her quietly, grabbing her arm.

"What kind of name is 'Beyond Birthday'? That's just two random words!" She yelled at me.

"No it's not! That's my name!" I was getting tired of her so I turned away, leaving. I didn't want to deal with stupid people, who knew nothing.

"Hey, wait up, B." Abigail called after me but I was already climbing another tree twenty feet away from the one she'd scared out of.

"It's Beyond. Not 'B'." I called from the tree as she climbed after me. I laughed as she stumbled up the tree. Girls really are weak. So I climbed higher before leaping to the tree next to the tree she and I were climbing. Leaving her to that tree as I slid down the one next to her. She was at the top when she realized I had left that tree and I was already on the ground. "Better luck next time, Abbey!" I shouted at her as the bell rang and I began running.

I ran into something- someone- knocking them on the back, with myself on top of them. Instinctively I looked above their head- to see the name and numbers- and I saw a name almost as odd as my own. "_L... Lawliet..._" I whispered before looking at the face of the most beautiful teenager I'd ever seen in my life.

XXX

_"Beyond, I know I have asked you this before, but... do you, or did you ever, have feelings for L?" My therapist asked me quietly, interrupting my trance._

_"No. Never." I replied without hesitation..._

'I always loved him. From the moment I saw his name in red letters.' _I thought to myself._

**I enjoyed writing this. Tell me what you think! Please. I want to know if I should continue this.**

**-Insanity-L**


	2. Lawliepop

**Hello, Insanity-L here. I just thought an update was needed so, don't let me hold you. Oh and disclaimer- I own nothing... because I'm not that great of an idea person... but anyways one reason I know the nickname 'Lawlie-pop' is because of an acquaintance of mine called CatatonicVanity, she writes wonderful fanfictions so read hers too n.n! Anways...**

**Insanity ****_out!_**

**Beyond POV**

_I looked at Evangeline, she interrupts me too often. It's so annoying! I just want to tell that bitch to fucking listen so I don't have to repeat myself everyday so we can just fucking move on with our lives and so I can die in this damned loony-bin... I'm not fucking crazy. Not like those damn retards in the rooms over. They all shout and yell and make strange noises and talk to themselves... I'm crazy. Just not... that crazy. Got it?_

_"Continue, Beyond." Evangeline moved her hands as if to will me to keep going... I wish I could move my hands. Bitch is just flaunting that she isn't in a straight jacket. Good for her. I sighed before looking her in the eyes again._

_"Do I have to tell you about how I got a room, then about dinner and then going to bed... or can I start with the next day?" I asked her, hoping she'd finally make it easy on me, not that my memory was slipping. No not one bit. My photographic memory is still intact, I could tell you about my first christmas, in refined detail. I could tell you everything... even if I am a little crazy.. Heh._

_"Sure Beyond, you may start at the next day." She smiled, finally, we are getting places. Dumb bitch, I win._

_"Okay. Well that morning when I woke up..." I began from the beginning..._

1313

I woke with a start. I sat straight up in bed. Looking around, this wasn't my room at my foster home... no, no this was my new room in the Wammy House. The walls were white and everything was white... white is so boring, the room should be vibrant, bright. Like red. Yes, red. I liked red.

1313

_"Is_ **that** _why you killed people? Because you like red?" Evangeline, broke my trance _AGAIN._ Bitch._

_"Dammit WOMAN! STOP INTERRUPTING ME! If you would_ Listen _to me then maybe would could get to that part!_"_ I screeched at her and she shrunk back, away from me. Smiling triumphantly I began again._

1313

I stood, changing into my usual attire. A pair of black skinny jeans and a long sleeved red V neck shirt, I chose to not wear socks and I put my red hightop Chuck Taylors on my feet. I was very comfortable. Almost lazy but... not.

I ran out of my room, running head-long into someone in the hall. I laid there, people muttered and gasped in surprise. I, then, was pushed off of this person and they began screaming at me.

I looked up the see non-other-than the teenage boy who'd caught my attention yesterday. He was kneeling beside me yelling. Then, only a second after he stopped screaming, he stood. Standing tall, back straight and looked forward- shoulders back and hands behind his back. He walked away as though nothing happened. No apology for screaming in my face, not responding to me yelling at him. He just turned his back to me.

His hair was neatly combed down and rested against his face. I stood and ran after him. "L Lawliet! Come back here!" I shouted at him and he turned fast and angry.

"What did you just call me?" He growled through his teeth, angry black eyes frightening me as I caught up.

"Your name. L Lawliet." I told him calmly, I was absolutely terrified. He was at least a foot taller than me. He grabbed my arm and dragged me into the nearest room. Shutting the door hard before locking it.

"Don't call me that again. I am just L. Got it, newbie?" He was like a bully. A very mean one.

"Rodger that, Lawlie-pop." I smirked at my newest enemy. I've been making so many. I smiled even though it killed me slowly, even though becoming enemies with L was probably a bad thing, I had still done it.

The beautiful creature started beating me. Hitting me and I just smiled, taking all he had to give. I didn't mind. I was used to this already. If you'd gone to so many foster homes, I'm sure you'd understand.

After about five minutes of him hitting me, I felt something wet falling down my cheek, but it wasn't blood. I looked up- focusing on his face- to see him sobbing as he hit me. I was rather confused. I didn't even know him but... I wanted to hug him- even after suffering abuse from him.

"You are here to become me! Now start acting like it!" He mumbled at me loudly, I didn't understand what he'd meant at the time. But if I had known. I would have ran away, If I had known what I'd become because of him... I would have left.

But I'm lying, even in those early days- even after only seeing him twice- I was already in too deep. Subconciously of course. But none the less... I wouldn't have ran.

He fell against me, sobbing. His neatly combed hair out of place and his buttondown shirt splattered with my blood. I didn't realize he'd been hitting me that hard.

I laid there with him curled into me. _'This is too fucking weird.'_ I thought to myself as I pushed him off of me. "Stop being weird. Get away from me, Lawlie-pop." I mocked him again. Desprately wanting more fight in him.

"Fuck off. You're just a kid. You don't understand anything. I am at least six years your senior, I'm eighteen. I have a lot on my plate. You're just a fucking kid. You know nothing of this hell. Just leave now before you get stuck with this damned job." He lectured me, and even though I didn't pay attention to him back then, I can still recall his speech with perfect clearity.

"Hey, Lawliet. You are only _five _years older than me, get off your high horse! And oh yes because _I _am a _child_ to you, I know nothing. Very superior of you, Lawliet. I am just as smart as anyone here." I bit back calmly. I wanted to yell but emotions hurt people- namely myself. No emotions will be allowed for me.

"No..." He was quieter than before. "No, don't be smart... Be smart by not being smart. Get out of here. Please, you will only hurt yourself." He whispered to me but it only angered me.

"You just want to become a detective and push me out of the running. I wont fall behind. I will become a detective before you." I was letting my emotions get in the way. Dammit.

"Too late for that, you are talking to the top _three _detectives in the world." L smirked at me. Anger boiled in me. That's what he meant by becoming him. I grit my teeth.

"Fine. I'll become better than you. I will become something better than you. I will defeat you. I will make you question yourself. I will become greater than you!" Anger seeping into my voice as I shouted.

1313

_I left my trance on my own and looked Evangeline in the eyes, "That's when my plan to become the worlds greatest murderer began... I didn't really know that... but thats when it started. I know that for a fact." I closed my eyes again._

1313

**Soo... Yeah, L is rather irrational in this story, and isn't like he is in the anime... just yet. You'll understand why he is different in a little while. I promise. I have some interesting plans for this story. So... yeah. I hoped you enjoyed this. I will be updating this and TAS (That's A Shame) usually around the same time after this. Okay? So next time I update this, there will be another update for TAS as well- shortly before or after. Okay? Bye!**

**-Insanity-L**


	3. Backup

**Hello, I've missed all of you so much. I was sent off to a place to help with my cutting for a bit. I'm back and well. This is Insanity-L, I've missed you all. You should know who I am because you've read the first two chapters... or if you are some weirdo who's starting at chapter three, well I'm Insanity-L and you are fucking crazy. n.n haha okay, Well here is the next part. YAY. Reviews please!**

1313

_I starred at Evangeline. Waiting for her to speak. But she didn't speak to me. No she just looked at me with such sad damned eyes. She needed to stop looking at me with fucking pity. God I hate pity. I just want her to fucking say something with her annoying ass voice so I can get on with my story. I leaned forward, sighing._

_"You may continue, Beyond." She whispered, well thank you god she doesn't have something Oh-so-smart to say. I closed my eyes and fell into the trance again._

1313

L Lawliet stood and brushed himself off before leaving me yelling at him. His hair was slightly messed up but still silken looking. I smiled as he walked away. He didn't say anything. He didn't even know my name. I wont get in trouble.

Or so I thought... Moments later over the intercom a voice called. "B- room 13, hall X- to the office." I stared at the ceiling shocked. Me, why?... fuck. I'm in trouble. I sighed and slowly turned the other way, walking towards the office.

People crowded the halls again. I moved through the halls, fighting against the crowd. They pushed and I pulled. It was a game of tug-of-war but eventually I was out of the way of all the other kids. I was 'home-free'. The office only three doors down. I let out a breath I had no idea I'd been holding in.

I opened the door, my hand was still on the handle when I was jerked into the room, and the door slammed behind me. I looked to see who had pulled me through the door. It was none-other-than the straight-laced Lawliet.

I was mad that I had to see him but some part of me- a part I didn't fully understand yet- was absolutely thrilled.

1313

_I looked up at Evangeline, this is when she would usually interrupt but her eyes were closed and she was listening intently to what I had to say so I continued._

1313

"I've seen your scores." was all L Lawliet said before grabbing my wrist and sitting me down. "You are in second place just by your test to get in. You will be my backup successor... you will be called Backup. Got it?" My excitement died in a blink of an eye. That bastard.

I had no idea why I'd been so excited when I saw him in the office. All I want to do now is make his life a living hell. I wanted to ruin his image, but I had to break him first. I had to crush his very soul before being able to ruin his image. I had to kill his desire to be great. He was going down.

1313

_"But down_ I_ went."_


	4. Stormy Nights

**Insanity. I've missed you. I am not sure how this all works but let's go with this, it's fiction. And BB is a little ooc for a moment. Get over it. Oh Disclaimer I OWN NOTHING. Oh and B and A action in this so beware****, sorry yeah, Ew I know. Get over it. Eventually we will get were we need to be so it's blah blah. I love you guys, Okay, on with the story!**

**LEMON IN THIS CHAPTER BETWEEN B AND A. BEWARE! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! NO FLAMES JUST LOVE!**

1313

_Evangeline starred at me with pity in her eyes. I need no pity. Not from some pathetic woman. Not from anyone. I don't want pity, I just want my best friend back. I want this to stop. I want the questions, the interrogation, the pain, the memories, All to stop._

_"Stop." I whispered in defeat, I felt defeated once again. Here I am, stuck in a straight jacket. On the floor like all the other crazies in this loony-bin. I feel myself slipping from the evil, 'crazy', villain. From the murderer... And I sit on the floor like a child hugging himself and hoping to have someone fix the pain._

_"Do you need a break, Beyond?" She notices the change, she notices the pain. I bite my bottom lip, holding in a sob. "How about I pull some strings and get you into a shower?" I stop breathing. Does she mean it? Could I get a real shower? Not just a rag bath? I look up at her, eyes wide. "Hold on one minute, alright? I'll be right back."_

_She left the room and every second she was gone my fear of her not returning worsened. Every moment she was gone, the pain worsened. I was alone with my shameful self pity and I wouldn't get a shower... I knew I wouldn't. __But miraculously she came back with two nurses, both male, of course. _

_One undid the straps on my straight jacket and another slid it off of my arms. I slowly moved my sore and bruised arms and shoulders. I slowly pushed myself off of the ground. __Both men grabbed my arms and walked me to the showers. Evangeline waited in my room. _

_They watched me as I showered and for the first time in a long time I noticed my hair... It was again down my back and blonde... but the tips were a faded black. I twirled my fingers around the black ends and smiled. Then lifted my hands to my face. Still soft as a damn baby- twenty two and still no facial hair._

_I even got to look in a mirror... I rather wish I hadn't. My body was a bit scarred from the fire of my suicide attempt. Tan scars littered my once flawless skin ruined my similarity to Lawliet._

_When I finished my shower and time staring in the mirror, they brought me back to my room. Evangeline was waiting, something was different though. Her expression. I ignored it and sat down as I was strapped up again._

_"Alright, something a bit different. How did you and A become friends?"_

_"Abbey." I muttered to Evangeline weakly._

_"What was that? Please speak up, Beyond." She asked sweetly._

_"Abbey, her name was _Abbey_. Not A, not Alternate. It was Abigail O'Conner! __Her name was_ ABBEY!_" I yelled at her but gave in and began when me and Abbey truly became friends. "It was a really stormy night and it was about two years after I came to Wammy's, we were fifteen. And after her many failed attempts to be my friend came this night..."_

_1313_

I laid in my little bed, in the dark room, alone. It was cold and the thunder was keeping me up. I saw a flash of lightening before I heard it and then scream from the next room over. I rolled my eyes, 'Abbey is such a baby. Why is she afraid of such a stupid storm?'

I closed my eyes, intending on trying to fall asleep once more. But again, Light, Crash and Scream. It repeated a couple more times before I slipped into a half-conscious state. I was half asleep for about twenty minutes when a little knock on the door jolted me awake.

I stomped over to the door. Opening it to find little Abbey, crying on the floor by my door. I helped her up and stared down at her angrily. "What. Do. You. Want?" I was angry and tired, it was somewhere in between two and three in the morning.

"Can.. C-can I st-ayy wit-with _you!?_" She managed to sob out loudly. I was about to yell 'No' but she lunged at me and gripped my shirt. "I-I'll do anything... _Anything_" With the second 'Anything' her hand slid down my pants and gripped my soft member.

As a young, horny teenage boy... I took advantage of that opportunity without a second thought. "Get on the bed." I whispered to her and her freckled cheeks became flushed. Her hand slid from my pants and I closed the door shut quietly while she crawled into my bed.

I locked the door and crawled into bed next to her. I stared at her face for a moment before flicking my eyes to her hair, it had gotten longer, but still shorter than mine. I then focused on her lips. I leaned forward and kissed her lips lightly. She cringed a bit.

"What's wrong?" I asked her sweetly, though trying to take advantage of the situation at hand.

"I've never been kissed, I don't know what to do...?" She whispered and jumped as lightening struck and thunder roared. She scooted closer to me. I put a hand on her cheek and brushed away a hair from her face.

"Here, let me show you." I whispered, coming close to her face and planting a soft but forceful kiss onto her lips. She pushed herself forward, into the kiss. She kissed me until I forgot how to breathe, she was a quick learner, but she also had a great teacher.

I slid my tongue across her bottom lip, begging for entrance. She opened her mouth hesitantly and I slipped my tongue passed her lips and teeth and encouraged her tongue to dance along with mine. The kiss got heated quickly and my shirt and pants came off and her nightgown as well. Soon we were only left with our underwear. She wore no bra- as her tiny breasts needed no support.

I hooked my finger at the edge of her panties and slid them off, and then my own. Lightening crashed and she jumped from underneath me. My member brushing against her core. She whimpered- whether from fear of the storm or from the friction I wasn't sure.

"Are you sure?" I whispered into her hair. She nodded against me and I tried sliding in but it was too tight.

"Ow..." She whispered to me and I stopped. I realized I missed a step. I crinkled my nose as my cheeks heated up from embarrassment.

"Sorry." I whispered embarrassedly and slowly slid one finger inside her tiny hole. It was warm and tight and slightly moist. She moaned a little as I slid it back out a little, then back in. I added another finger, stretching her and she stiffened. She became tense and I leaned down and kissed her sweetly. She relaxed a tiny bit. "Do you want me to continue?"

"Yes... I think so... maybe?" She was unsure, so I slowly slid my fingers out but when I did, she whined. "Okay, okay. Yes, continue, please." She whined a little louder. I chuckled a bit and slid the two fingers back into place and began easing them in and out. Then a third and when she was relaxed with those I stopped and slid my fingers out.

She whined in protest but I leaned forward and distracted her from being penetrated with a kiss. Not a sweet one but an intense, heated kiss.

She bucked up in surprise and stilled herself. I pulled back and her eyes were wide. Her pale blue eyes looked white in the flashes of lightening. Her breathing was harsh and she looked afraid.

"Hey, it's okay, Abbey. I promise." I whispered to her. She looked a little less fearful and nodded at me.

"Oh...Okay." She whispered almost inaudibly and wiggled her hips the tiniest bit. "I'm ready for you to move." She breathed out, even quieter than the first words.

I kissed her lips quickly and slid out then thrust back inside. And again and again. In and out, in and out. She soon began moving with me. She began ignoring or forgetting about the thunder and lightening. Only focusing on our bodies moving. The slow pace we started with ceased to exist as we came closer to climax. She clawed my back and wrapped her legs and arms around me and she came. Her core pulsated, until I came moments afterwards.

I laid there until we both came down from our highs. She untangled herself from my body and I pulled myself off of her. She grabbed her gown and panties and dressed herself, as I just pulled on my boxers and pants. She headed for the door. I quickly panicked.

"Where are you going?" I asked her in a quick and harsh tone.

"It stopped raining. I'll go back to my room until morning." She stated matter-of-factly. But I grabbed her hand and pulled her back to bed.

"Stay with me, just tonight." I muttered, not even sure she heard me but she stayed that night, and every night from then on.

1313

_"That was the beginning of what I thought was true love..." I whispered to Evangeline while hiding behind my hair._

_"Was it?" She asked me._

_"No. I loved her. But like a sister. True love is an evil emotion meant for your rival..." I whispered to her._

_"So you admit that you loved L?" She asked me quietly while taking notes._

_"No. True loves is the deadliest, most innocent looking version of hate there is..."_


End file.
